IDK, legally disabled so thus I get disability income, but I admit my life tends to be quite mudane. I am able to get out some, can usually afford a concert or two luckily most bands I like that end up touring play at smaller venues so can be pretty cheap. Admittedly I use cannabis as I find it helps some of my mental health issues more than any prescription... I also drink some(usually just a couple beers or mixed drinks), smoke cigarettes and on occasion I will indulge in other things...but its my life. Either way the income sucks, but obviously I would not be on disability if it was as simple as going and getting a job. I also just have no idea what I want in life....the idealist crap I think about is never going to happen, the world is going to remain a stressful, overly competitive, people destroying people sort of place not sure how to be blissful about that. I can look around and think satirical thoughts and be frustrated there is nothing I can really do aside from attempt to live life...and try to survive when everything falls apart but yeah not going to 'change the world', too late.

I probably shouldn't smoke cigarettes, lol that combined with smoking cannabis causes me a bit of chronic coughing(probably more the cigarettes) but I don't give a crap, I'm going to die anyways eventually...at least its not as immediately damaging as something like cutting. I love listening to music, and have copies of albums on various formats....but much of the time no one to listen to any with...always worried of turning people off if they find out I am on disability income which is a concern when trying to meet new people. I do end up spending quite a lot of time with my brother, but he works a graveyard shift and sleeps a lot of the day so would be nice to find some of my own friends or acquaintances to chill with. But who wants to hang out with some 25 year old college drop out, still living at moms house, with no real prospects of anything impressive in the future. I don't know where I am going with this, I am not even feeling that depressed or anxious at the moment but I guess this stuff is sort of on my mind, no real feeling attached to it though....I think perhaps it should make me sad. So yeah just some rambling of what is going through my mind.