Hello, I'm new to the forum, and have come here hoping for some answers to my problems.

I'm 18, currently a freshman at a large university. I feel like I have lost my memory and logic.

I used to be a very funny (I don't remember the kinds of things I used to say, really. I can hardly remember any situations from my past. I feel like I can no longer make any connections just sitting here. Sometimes, in rare occasions, I come out of it and my old self returns. I used to have a lot of people I would call friends, but I've lost my ability to communicate. Things have changed completely with the friends from high school that came to the same high school All I can really communicate is how I feel about not being able to communicate. I just sit there and listen to them. I'm not tuning out or anything; I am taking in what they are saying and find the same sorts of things as interesting or amusing, I just can't naturally come up with much anymore. I feel like a wild animal just going through the steps. All that creativity has disappeared.

I recreationally started smoking pot my sophomore year, but senior summer, oh my god, I lost it all. I smoked almost every day with my friend chris. It was strange though. We'd play frisbee golf almost every day and smoke pot out on the course. We didn't talk really during this and it was mostly focused on our scores. I knew that there were people out there smoking grams and grams a day, so I didn't think it was a big deal that we'd smoke maybe 5 or 6 bowls a day. My tolerance for pot has never really raised or anything, which I find strange. Splitting a bowl with someone still gets me really baked.

I used to be very funny with a lot of stuff going on in my brain. Now, I'm just polite with not all that much sarcasm, humor, or creative ideas. I feel like my brain is just absolute mush.

I hardly ever smoke now.

I feel like that action of getting high and not saying or thinking at all and just playing frisbee has ruined me for life. I am actually getting really worried, especially just writing this, that my sense that my humor or ability to share stories with people will ever come back. my brain just feels like mush,

Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Even still, I'm not that scared just because I don't really get scared of anything. I just know what's right and would always do what's right for anyone, unless I'm feeling too lazy about it. I feel almost like a robot.