There are sooooo many different medications.....and it seems like every single person reacts differently to every single med. Keep talking to your doc and keep trying different ones until you find something that works for you. Maybe your counselor can give you some tips on how to reach out to your partner, and find new ways to communicate with her? If she isn't yet willing to talk to a counselor herself, you still need to find a way to keep talking with her, and help her resolve the issues between you. It sounds like your major health battles have distanced you two from a lot of intimacy (and your current meds might be playing a part in that also) - but she's still there, there's still hope. Just keep trying to rebuild your link to her, so that she will start feeling like you are more than "just" friends. She was IN love with you once. Your health might have changed who you are, might have changed who SHE is, but that doesn't mean you can't make her fall IN love with you all over again. Hold onto hope!