Thank you for talking to me I know it's not easy when you don't know the person . But you have help me calm down and I think I will try again with the nick name because , I just can't use my real name as it becomes a topic of questions and I know they are just wondering and have no idea that it's not just a simple question as it is a name with a reason .

Maybe the more I use the nick name the less guilty I will feel , and can heal in some
way .

You said somethings people trigger you and you stop talking to them maybe I am doing that as well , can you give me an example that would make you not talk to someone ?