Wow, David. That is just a super paper.

As for sucking it up, snapping out of it, this list has helped me so much come to terms with this being a disease. My family treats me as depression is a moral personality weakness, and I do it strictly to annoy them, make them feel bad, and to get attention. So -- I get accused of being "selfish" for dumping my illness on them -- and they don't even see how selfish they are to interpret my pain solely in terms of how it affects them. That, in fact, they have created a world in which *my* illness is *all about them.*

My previous T worked with me to get me to do pleasurable activities. I went to a butterflly garden she recommended, where classical music softly plays in a serene setting with waterfalls, lush tropigal gardens, etc. I sat on one of the benches and thought, "This is lovely. OK, when do I start feeling pleasure," and felt as if I was outside myself, watcing myself not feel good.

My new T is a cognitive guy, not gestalt as the previous, and we are working on the "just do it -- just keep moving" approach. Which, for someone who needs a job/source of income, is good.

I'm sorry you are getting so little support from your family. I know how much that hurts.