What does it mean when a client cancels a therapy session? Has anyone here ever canceled a session (for reasons besides illness, an unavoidable schedule conflict, etc.), and if so, why?

My next scheduled session is in two days, and I'm thinking of canceling. I'm trying to understand why I want to do that. This session will be the second couples session for me and my husband. I won't have seen T in an individual session for 2 weeks. Why am I getting cold feet? I have never canceled a session with this T before, but rather have looked forward intensely to each of my individual sessions, even if we were doing difficult work. I'm just having this overwhelming urge to cancel. I hate being so clueless about my motivations.

I do feel overwhelmed with couples issues, based on what happened in our first couples session last week. I just feel really unstable and emotional right now and like it would be hard to go to therapy like that, especially in the triad context. Is that a good reason to cancel therapy, because you are feeling too unstable and fragile? I feel like so much is happening and my ability to process everything is hopelessly behind. I'm on overload and going to therapy seems like it will only add more to process. Maybe if I have an additional week before therapy, I can get things under control better. But maybe that would be counter to progress? Is it good/helpful/productive to be so unstable and out of control?

I'm also feeling somewhat abandoned by my T since I called him midweek last week to ask for an individual session and he never returned my call. It might be uncomfortable to go to couples therapy with that ignored call between us, and I would feel unable to discuss this "between T and me" issue with my husband present.

So maybe it's a mix of these two reasons. I don't know. I'm just feeling up in the air about this, and ready to pick up the phone tomorrow and call to cancel. Or maybe I could just go to the session and be more of a bystander and let T and my husband carry the weight of the session. I could just distance myself and try to hold it together. Or would it be better to cancel?