Somewhere in between I recognise my mania but only grasp the aftermath fully afterwards. Hindsight is always the better view. I try not dwell on the past too much. Sure there are things I really don't like. But I can't change what I did. I don't even apologise. Wow I'm stubborn.

I can't just snap out of it. It requires an adjustment in the dosage of my meds. And they don't necessarily kick in straight away.

I guess the silliest strategy I had whilst manic was to keep working. Not a good idea. Didn't end well. But do I regret my actual behaviors like yelling at people and so on and so forth. Not really. My brain was just effed at the time. Feel like I'm contradicting myself but I'm trying not to.