Oh sorry, I know my last response was incredibly long. Sometimes, I can be a bit wordy!

I wanted to add... you asked what sort of things had triggered me, because (I think) you don't want to do those things to other people.

The only problem with that is... everyone will have different triggers! So, it makes it really hard... you can't know what will accidentally hit a trigger for someone until you know them much better (my opinion).

All the people that I mentioned above were truly wonderful, kind people. Very nice, very considerate - and didn't really do anything wrong. (OK, perhaps talking about suicide to a stranger on a plane is not the smartest move!) But, that was my point - they didn't do anything wrong. And if you accidentally say something that triggers someone else, YOU didn't do anything wrong either! It's just an unfortunate thing that happens.

For example, what if I had lost my little brother in a boating accident, and you happen to love boating? We're talking, and you say, "hey! It would be great if you came out with me and the family on Saturday, we're taking the boat out to the lake, it will be fun!"

If I'm a healthy person who has dealt with my stuff in therapy, I go "OK!" But, I'm not! I'm an avoidant person who has spent years of my life avoiding things that remind me of past traumas! So instead I go, "ohhhh gosh... I'd love to but... I'm going to run away now, because I don't know how else to deal with this! So sorry!"

See what I mean? You have no way of knowing! Which means, it's not your fault and not your responsibility.

Hope that helps!