This sounds like a living hell for both of you. I would advise a divorce so he can find a sexual woman that siuts his needs while you can heal from your painful past without the added stress of thinking about his needs. This atmosphere is not healthy for either of you and takes its toll on you both mentally and physically.

I do feel for you as woman to woman - who has also been through counselling for sexual abuse. You need your space to heal and it cannot be with him around, confusing you and making you feel guilty.

Good luck and I hope you both get the life you need and deserve very soon. I don't feel it will be possible while married to each other.