I guess I had the experience a little similar with you, but not completely the same as you. I don't have the delusion nor worry that people would judge if I like that man by my expression. But I just can't eliminate my embarrassed expression in front of that man.

I used to like a man in my class in my undergraduate school time. Before I found I liked him, I had no problem with interacting with him naturally. But since I was aware I liked him, I stared to fail to interact with him naturally: I would have embarrassed expression when being face to face with him though I didn't feel so anxious that I dare not interaction with him. Though I desired to have more interactions with him, I just couldn't be face to face with him without the embarrassed expression. I liked him not long after I entered my undergraduate school, and found him get a girlfriend in the third year then started to feel very frustrated because I liked him far earlier than he got his girlfriend but had never tried to chased him then let him become other's boyfriend. Because I can't be interact with him face to face without not having embarrassed expression, it's impossible for me to interact with him more (for I don't want him to see my embarrassed expression), not mention to having some actions to let him perceive or at least start to suspect I like him; this made me so frsustrated that I even couldn't concentrate on my study and had poor grades, and I even visited two counselors to inquire how to solve this problem, but none of them gave me any solution; they just listened to me. But not long after visiting the two counselors, I found he broke with his girlfriend; that action let me feel he is not a serious man who would commit his emotion to his girlfriend seriously so that I found I didn't like him anymore. Then I started to find a great relief that my problem had been gone since then.

But I don't know why in the fourth year of my undergraduate school, it's like the whole class know I like him and tried to put him and me together whenever there is a chance or made some commotion whenever they saw I was near him. And he himself seems to also know I like him because he would have honorable expression in front of me. Even after I graduated from my graduate school and in a wedding of one of our classmates, they were still that way; they tried to put him and me sit around the same table. But since I have not liked him for long, I don't care what they do.

In my graduate school, I had a companion but broke up with him after graduation. I didn't have the problem of having the embarrassed expression with that companion. So I think that problem arises due to the environment and the person. People in my graduate school are far more different from my undergraduate school; they far more focuses on research than those in my undergraduate school and never spent time in matching pairs in my class or research groups nor gossip about who and who should be in pair, or such kind of affair.