Quote:
Originally Posted by Webgoji
I totally get it. Even after 14 years my wife feels uncomfortable when I give her a compliment; tell her how pretty she is or how nice her hair looks or how smart she is. If I string them together she'll make me stop. Whatever it is, she gets really uncomfortable receiving compliments.
At some point you have let yourself take that compliment ...
I've got an idea! Whenever you accomplish a goal, you're supposed to reward yourself right? So when you write in a journal for a week, you reward yourself with some Oreo cookies or whatnot.
In this case though, make a conscious effort to recognize a compliment! Start simple. If someone reminds you that you have pretty eyes, stop and say, "That was a compliment, I'm going to take it as such." Then look in the mirror and say, "Yeah! I do have pretty eyes and dang it, I'm going to feel good about that compliment. They're right!"
Keep doing it and when you do feel good about it, then, just like accomplishing a goal, reward yourself. You deserve to feel good about getting a compliment so reward yourself for it. |
Thank you for your idea/thoughts. My husband told my T he stopped giving me compliments because I never believed him. I didn't mean to offend him. It was just that I felt I idn't deserve them. Like he was saying them just to say them. I knew he was not that kind of person. I just feel triggered negatively when I am complimented about my looks or what a good person I am . Although I feel this way about myself I have raised my children to be self confident and I let them know how special they are to me in their own unique ways. I made sure they felt good about themselves. Learning to have good self-esteem and resilience at a young age is so important. I didn't have that growing up. It left me insecure. I will TRY YOUR IDEA THANKS FOR COMMENTING. Does you wife feel better about compliments now? How did she handle it?
