>Do people deserve to hear your threats of violence and rage and revenge
I didn't threat anyone. I was upset and tried to express my negative emotions.

>When you talk stupid crap, you're going to turn people off.
I admit that i wrote stupid crap. But do you really expect that traumatized people like me would talk wisdom and smart things all of a sudden? As i said earlier, my mind is broken right now, so be polite enough to cut me some slack. You are so quick to judge people. Did you ever experience betrayal by closest friends and lovers? I seriously doubt it. And even if you did, it sure was a single person, not two of them. So you can't possibly imagine what it feels like and what kind of thoughts are appearing in mind in condition like that.

>Maybe you could benefit from medication. Then go get it.
I wont because side effects were awful. They are highly addictive. Its will be twice as hard to break that habit again.

>Sometimes, suffering can overwhelm a person and maybe destroy that person.
Thats what happened with me. I am trying to restore myself. Not sure if its possible.

>spend 5 minutes with a man who is entertaining the kind of thinking that you've been wrapping your mind up in.
I will try to change my ways of thinking, but its not enough to attract girls. I also need to deal with negative emotions that captured my mind. Thats why i created the thread in this section.

So, i want to know how to cope with following emotions:
- self-blame (for introducing them to each other)
- regret (for not taking radical actions when it needed)
- humiliation (for realizing she found him as better man than me)
- idealizing the past (like ive lost the best thing that happened to me)

>So start there. Say, "I'm in pain, and maybe I'm going to cry myself to sleep every night for a month.
I cry almost every few days for 3 months already. I don't know how much time do i need. The situation already ruined health of mine and health of my mother. Im afraid i will end up in psychiatric clinic and become insane vegetable. I would go for it, but i don't the possibility because of studies and work obligations.

>But, now I will have more compassion for others who are in pain.
I will for sure. But why i should me compassion for those who caused pain?

>And you paled in comparison with him.
Thank you, captain obvious. Don't you understand that words like that can hurt? I compare myself to him every day already. I actually want to know how to stop comparing myself to him, because it brings me to suicide desire.

>These two people did not owe you the duty of care
So, you are saying that best friends and lovers should not care about each other? Do you personally treat your friends and lovers like that, without any duty of care? If so, i don't need advices from you.

>assume a cool attitude towards the whole thing and reconnect with them
Impossible. I burned all the bridges already and wont ever speak with them ever again.

>feels guilty enough to at least think of you first when some income opportunities
I wont ever trust him enough to participate in any sort of his projects. The idea of even speaking to him disgust me.

>make it a CHORE for yourself to imagine their having sex together every time you eat
I heard about the paradoxical approach in therapy, but as i know, it makes sense only when it comes to body deviations, like insomnia, tremor or panic attacks. When its about extremely painful memories and imaginations, such as mine, it doesn't work.