From what you said earlier about your husband only masturbating to you, it is obvious that he seeks physical intimacy with you. That is a need that the average, person male or female has. It sounds like the therapist was almost exclusively addressing your needs and not his, and a relationship is about more than one person. I agree, It sounds like this has gone on so long that your husband has reached his boiling point. It sounds like he desperately wants to love you and be intimate with you, but that's something that you won't be able to reciprocate(at least physically) for some time.

Because his issues went largely unaddressed for so long, I find it doubtful that they can now be dealt with in time. My advice is to see a new therapist and probably a divorce. If you do get a divorce he will likely be very upset because all he's wanted to do was be close with you for all these years. So you should let him know at least how much you cared for him, because this man has spent 20 years feeling undervalued and unloved in the hopes that you would recover.

It will be very hard at first, but with the relationship over it will remove a great source of stress from your lives. Hopefully without that added stress it will be much easier for you to recover.