I do feel guilty about his death. I never even heard of this disease and the vet said that its often asymptomatic until sudden death. I feel guilty bc he had a heart condition and I had no idea. He probably should not have been introduced to a new kitten I found. He was so stressed then and although he adjusted cats do act different around other cats. It's like the hierarchy makes them keep their "game face" on all the time. He was not often his funny loose self anymore bc the kitten was so hyper and distracting. I still had my moments with him though. The kitten always slept alone and would hide. She was 4 weeks feral when I found her so that instinctful "hide"part of her character always came out and she loves to find a cubby or covered nook to sleep. When it was just me and my original cat at night he would turn back into the giant snuggler I knew. Always purring, he loved to have his belly rubbed and he'd flip over on his back with his little paws pearched together. Thank God we had one of those moments the day before he passed. I even told him how much I loved him and he put his paw on my arm. I don't think he knew. I think it was a silent bomb that detonated without warning. The trauma of finding him in the morning is incredibly hard to get past. It's one big mess and ultimately I just miss him so much and wish that I could have done something, wish I could have had more time with him, wish I could have told him how sorry I was another 1000 times. The sudden shock of the finality of it all and in such a cruel and abrupt way is so painful. As you all can see I grew to love this little guy like a family member. And with all of my heart. His loss is so great. I miss him so much. He used to wait on my patio for me to come home, when I look and see nothing I feel empty. To go to sleep and not hear his meows to announce he was coming into my room, I can't rest. The memories a few awful and mostly great haunt this house. His hair is all over. And worse the other cat keeps looking for him.