I honestly thought I was feeling better, and decided that I was finally going to get up, shower, do laundry, and clean up a little. So I got up and found that I couldn't do any of those. I accomplished a little bit of pacing and then broke down and started crying. And I'm still on the couch in my pajamas. Why is this so hard? I was doing so much just a little over a month ago. And I'm afraid that if I don't get back into gear soon, all that I have in my life will unravel and I'll really have nothing. I have so much to loose, that I might have already lost. Maybe I'm worse off than I think right now. The weird thing is that I don't feel sad or unhappy until I try to function like I want to and realize that I can't. I just feel like a ghost :-(. I'm going to try again in a bit. Wish me luck.