This sounds controlling on your part. When you say "we wrote", the image that gets conjured up is that of collaboration. But then you wrote "she completely agreed TO", revealing that in reality you wrote the rules.

By the way, "trust rules" is an oxymoron.

With the droid, it sounds like you are being controlling and she for some reason is being desperate and intimidated by you, but I cannot figure out what her reasons are. At any rate, it seems that you are trying to have her conform to a mold that does not fit her, and is, admittedly, making an all-out effort to conform, but that is a sprint - this is not sustainable for a marathon. So I would drop this for the sake of both you guys. By dropping it I do not mean breaking up, but just stop talking about being "the one" for each other and chill a bit instead. It just does not sound like an egalitarian, fair deal between the two of you. And you apparently did something that in your book qualifies as a transgression that is of a smaller scale than hers, if I read you right; and then you conveniently skipped explaining what it was. I get a whiff of double standard in that "omission of information that the poster deemed irrelevant because it suited his purposes".

Back to the title of the thread - you call what she did a transgression. What did she transgress? Did you discuss things in advance? You made assumptions that just because she offered to do your laundry she was yours. By the way, why did you allow her to do your laundry? Was it the most chivalrous way to proceed, in hindsight?

Reading your post gives the impression of a relationship with a severe power imbalance headed for an eventual disaster.

When you describe yourself, you use terms such as:

- in very strong tone
- confronted her
- "woke her up to confront her" - you spied of her and felt entitled to wake her up from her sleep. I guess I should not have even bothered bringing up the laundry issue because it it pales in comparison with "woke her up" to confront her
- called her a liar
- kicked her out (apparently, that was from feeling deep gratitude for the wine she brought, the dinners she treated you to, and the laundry she did for you)
- "she takes care of my every need" !!!
- you love her (I wonder what you mean by that...)

And when you describe her, it is apologized, apologized, apologized, cried, apologized, confessed, cried, apologized...

See the difference?..

Another highly, highly striking linguistic phenomenon in your post (as opposed to countless other posts I have seen on here) is the overuse of terms "best" and "perfect" and "great". Most other people are able to see, discern and appreciate subtler tones; it is not all black-and-white for them. Most other people would write that, say, now things are BETTER than in the past, but to use superlatives as much as you did in the post is a little unusual.

But the most striking part is this: "We are great now and she's doing everything right"

Now let us compare with the above - "she takes care of my every need"

My friend, you should call it quits - I take back about just stopping the talk about "the one for me" and chilling - just call it quits and apologize to her for wasting her time and thank her for the laundry, wine, lovemaking, dinners, and so on and so forth. Tell her that at your present stage you do not deserve her and want to set her free.

This is because you do not have the requisite emotional maturity to be in a couple. Your writing clearly reveals that you do not hold yourself to any kind of moral standard and yet feel entitled to holding others to your own standards which you devised for them without their input. Your sense of entitlement is gigantic and you also manifest black-and-white thinking. Plus, all the odd mentions of perfection. We are not supposed to diagnose mental illness here, but we can say that fact ABC make us suggest that you see a therapist to discuss possible XYZ. So with that kind of preamble, let me tell you that you sound:

- narcissistic to a high degree
- borderline a bit (now called emotionally unstable)

The black-and-white thinking can be an aspect of borderline, but overall you do not seem borderline. You do however seem narcissistic and you view the world from an egocentric perspective - SHE had to meet ALL your needs (which needs of her were you meeting, I wonder), she had to stop being invested in her ex simply because your majesty developed feelings for her and was falling for her, and yet, tears of immense gratitude did not immediately well up in her eyes so now she would need to be repenting and "doing everything right" for the rest of her days. Looovely.

Even if you do not have narcissistic traits, and there is a questionnaire right on this website that you can fill out and see what it yields, you need to be in therapy to prepare yourself for future relationships, to learn that relationships involve give and take and compromises etc. It is not all about your gf's satisfying your every need and even dropping the innocuous flirtatiousness that characterized her and started being unnaturally standoffish to guys at work simply to please your majesty. What is she, a serf of yours? And yet, you are treating her as if she were a serf of yours.

I realize that these words are harsh and that you wanted someone to join you in your "self-righteous indignation", but as you see, none of us are doing that. I would suggest that you reread your post many times, paying attention to the choice of words, because the choice of words is so striking that I simply cannot believe I just read what I read.

So that is the honest opinion by way of supporting you - not supporting you in your self-righteous indignation, but supporting you growing to comprehend the give-and-take nature of human relationships and becoming a better person and better partner through that. I hope you do not take offense but instead look inwardly for answers to the question as to why, in the whole long OP, you expressed regret only once, for calling her a disgusting ***** (btw did you express regret to us or also to her? if to her, what did she say about your being regretful?), but she was apologizing and feeling sorry again and again and again. If you word count of various words that you used to describe how sorry she was and contrast that with the ONE mention of regret on your part, that disparity ought to open your eyes.

Again, do not take offense but please do analyze your post.