Just been crap to be totally honest and partially helped a long the way by my own confusion and despair at not knowing if meds are doing anything for me. Over the last few weeks I've had some candid chats with my p-nurse and T about the meds I'm on and to be honest I kind of gave up since the message I was getting (to me anyway) was that 1. They might not be the right ones & 2. Meds prescribed are essentially at whim depending on which p-doc you're registered with.

Initially I was forgetting to take them and then last few days I just stopped. Was getting bad withdrawals today (was expecting them, I don't have a problem cold turkying stuff) and my p-nurse picked up on it when he visited... I told him why and he pointed out the obvious (in hindsight, I guess I had my blinkers on) - that me being close to tears on other stuff we were discussing (will mention below) and other symptoms could in fact be the things the meds were calming down.

I promised to go back on them and though I still have a banging head ache... The glazed numbness has subsided somewhat.

As mentioned above about 'discussions', he had been in touch with my work on my behalf as I don't know where I stand with them (not really heard from anyone directly in an informal capacity since I was admitted in June)... My manager and I are to have an informal chat next month (I think, p-nurse is arranging it)... And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't petrified... I actually like my boss but this will be a serious chat about the practicalities of me returning.

I didn't anticipate having a break down... But the truth of the matter is that I was losing the plot some time before it and my work was suffering as a result... Things were left in a mess and I feel ****ing dreadful about it... And now I'm may have to talk to him about factors at work that contributed to it (some he'll know anyway; it's obvious I'm a bit socially skewed and have impractical notions) not so much as excuses but so as to ascertain if I can smoothly get back into the flow or if I'll fall apart again

Meh