something i used to say: the trouble with idealisation is that it tends to lead to devaluation and despair when the object fails to live up to our idealisation.

i used to cringe at that, cause i idealise quite a lot. but... i guess... devaluation is part of the process too.

autonomy. anger and autonomy...

maybe... maybe its partly about your moving into this next phase of your life where you are starting your internship??? need to be feeling autonomous and grown-up and competent right now. anger with t probably facilitates that. so you can go along and do your thing...

maybe... thats why you felt angry with him last session instead of talking to him about your internship? i could be way off base... just a thought though.

> I believe that the minute I walk out the door, he doesn't give me a thought until the next time he sees me.

you don't think he thinks of you at all? i reckon your t thinks of you. my t doesn't think of me, of course... but i reckon your to thinks of you.

> I think this is stemming a lot from the last session... how I didn't feel as though he was giving me what I needed... the lame, empathetic comments, the perception that I was too intense for him... It all seemed so.... human.

> But I didn't like it.

do you feel... disillusioned??? can you tell him about the times when you have felt most connected to him? i know sometimes it can feel like that feeling of connection is something that our therapists give to us, but we actually contribute a great deal to that as well. i'm wondering whether you were kind of holding back / preventing yourself from taking comfort in his words.. maybe... you need to be angry right now?

?

just some thoughts...