A few days after this post i ended up in the hospital for a week
week .annnd started on the one drug I've been refusing for years..LITHIUM! !
On a positive note it already seems to be working very well..i feel like my whole body and mind has been afforded a luxury vacation. No crazy high adventures crashing suddenly into dark caves.
Hoping it lasts and hoping the inner insight lasts so that in a few months i dont think im "cured" and stop taking it.
Hope all is well with everone!