My pdoc told me the same thing today. Don't feel guilty for trying. Don't be ashamed of asking for the help I need. But I'm conditioned to feel shame for having any kind of need or emotion. I was ashamed of getting angry. So I apologized. That's one of the many ways cptsd hurts me and my relationships. I still don't feel I have a right to ask for what I need or want. I still deep down believe that everyone else is more important than me, everyone else's needs come before mine. How do I get rid of such engrained conditioning?

I don't mind thanking them. I think they wanted to help but their hands were tied. These people know the system sucks, but they have to work with the boundaries they're given whether they like it or not. They don't make the rules.