Hello JL: I read your long post. I'm so sorry this has all happened to you. Unfortunately, I don't know the answers to your questions. I sincerely doubt anyone does. In fact, I doubt there really are any dependable answers. Only time will tell.

You wrote you are in counseling & that you go every week. I think this is vitally important. You must figure out what it is about yourself that would allow you to be used & abused over-&-over by this man & yet you just keep coming back for more. In fact, reading between the lines of your questions, I'm not convinced you wouldn't do it all again if the opportunity arose. I hope I'm wrong about that.

Part of the problem is that, even if this man never comes back, there are plenty of other men like him out there. And unless you figure out what is going on with you, the likelihood is that you will just fall victim to another man who is as self-centered and abusive as this one is. So, please, forget this guy, focus on your counseling & your recovery. You wrote that you have a degree & you work 2 jobs. You are a responsible person. You deserve better than you have gotten from this man. But it's YOU who must figure out what's going on & how to prevent it from happening again, if not with this man, then with another one just like him...