I understand that. I'd rather get someone else to hurt me or have it be an accident than do it myself. When I was in college I used to wear dark clothes and go walking around town in the middle of the night, hoping to get hit by a car or something. The best way to stop yourself is probably to talk to someone about the way you feel if you can find someone you trust and who won't hurt you.

<font color=purple>"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."</font color=purple>