Thanks!

Thanks Hankster! I'm pretty sure my mom has *never* said she's proud of me, so I tear up a little when I hear that (*blush*). And, thanks for the reminder about "normal people". Isn't it crazy how easy it is to forget that this stuff IS how normal people act?! Normal people don't just announce that they will be staying at your house and expect you to accommodate that! They ask, they negotiate, they plan.

Thanks Hvert! Thanks for the reminder that it's a manipulation tactic. Like I said, I've done my part and an trying to not obsess about it now. As you pointed out... she can choose to come and stay somewhere else, or to not come, either way is fine.

It just is still so *surprising* to me what a difference this one little detail makes. I knew that I'd prefer that she stays in a hotel, but I didn't realize that THAT was a huge part of the dread and stress I was feeling, until I took that out of the picture. I'm not close to my mom, but honestly, I think I could find a way to enjoy her visit - if she's not with me 24x7 and in my space.

Hmm... maybe there really IS something to all this "boundary" stuff !

Thanks!!!!