*Trigger* pregnancy issues

I have now gone 31 days without SI, usually I can do two to three days so this is great for me! I have been feeling quite proud of myself, when I am thinking logically....and very scared when I am not logical, because I owe all these days, what will the payback be? At least when I SI it only hurts me...

These thoughts have been popping up, I talked to t about them too. I have been unwell the past couple of weeks too, dizzy and sicky and tired...

I think I have been pregnant, and now am most obviously not. Don't want to give you horrible details and trigger anyone, but I feel bad and crampy too, as well as the obvious other stuff. I was not intending to get pregnant, and have an IUD.

Did I cause this? Is that the payback? I know that's a crazy thought...I know that, but I still can't help thinking it. What now? If I don't SI, what will happen next? I'm sorry, I know this is so illogical, but I feel so guilty.