Thank you for sharing this. I have the same dilema, when I was very young I went to a day home in my neighborhood, I was always the last kid there because of my moms work hours. My caregivers husband used to come home after work and hang out with me, I remember really liking him and getting along so well. We used to watch a show together on t.v. and eat the same snack every day. This is a really rare memory for me becuase I lost my mother about 4 years later and I have barely any memory of my life before then. Later my dad asked me if he had ever done anything weird to me or had touched me innapropriately. I can't say yes or no becuase I had a lot of fears about being intimate with anyone. I waited to be with the man im going to marry before i did anything beyond kissing. i just had this feeling that a man would over power me and want to hurt me, i dont know where that feeling came from. i also have noticed that im afraid of some men and i dont want them to come near me socialy even, they all happen to be the same build and age as the man in question. i also remember feeling sexual feeling when i was to young to understand it. it can be so frustrating trying to find the truth in all of this!