Hello cool09: Perhaps I'm a bit unclear with regard to your post. You write that you've wanted to start a fight over the past decade. However, now you've turned 50, your skin is thin & you don't care what people think. Personally I don't ever intentionally start a fight ( by which I mean a verbal altercation. We're not talking fists here, I presume.) This is not to say that I won't "stand my ground" when the need arises. However, I try to be understanding of the perspective of the person to whom I am talking. (By the way, just for reference, I'm in my mid 60's.)

I guess there are people around who simply enjoy arguing. They're always looking for an opportunity to instigate a fight... a chance to crush yet another opponent. Personally I avoid such people if at all possible. They're simply not worth my time & energy. However, what I take from your post is that you feel you've been kind-of a "door mat" in the past & now you feel you're ready to strike back.

You ask what the "norm" is among people. I would say that the norm is for most people to try to get along & be cordial if at all possible. Many people, I find, just don't want to "rock the boat", so to speak. So they say nothing, except maybe to grouse about whatever the situation is, after the fact. I think the number of people, who consciously enter a conversation ready to do battle if-&-when the need arises, is small.

From my perspective, I would think the question here is: what is going on with you that, at 50, you suddenly feel the urge to put up your dukes, as they say. The problem, it seems to me, is that if you go into conversations with the mindset that you're ready, willing & able to fight if the need arises, the chances are you'll find a fight. In fact, you may find many. And, over time, this always-ready attitude will become apparent & many people, like me, will simply begin to avoid you because they know you're always suited up for battle.

This is not to say that you shouldn't fight back when necessary. I'm not suggesting you just roll over & play dead at the first sign of trouble. However, it seems to me there's a fundamental difference between being willing to disagree if-&-when it becomes necessary on the one hand, & consciously preparing yourself for a fight that you presume will occur sooner or later, on the other.

Often the things we see in other people that aggravate us the most are the things about ourselves with which we are the least comfortable. So my preference is to seek compromise & to attempt to see what it is, in the other person, that is pushing my own buttons, so to speak... causing me to become hooked. From my perspective argument, in-&-of itself, rarely accomplishes anything other than to leave everyone involved feeling hurt.