I'm hurting today. I saw my T this morning and made a plan to cope ahead when I feel this badly but I can't do these things while I'm at work. And I'll go home today and who knows what will happen? I want so badly to talk to my friend but his wife is in the hospital at the moment and he's got enough going on. I shouldn't have let it get this bad. I knew the holidays were going to be hard and I thought I would be okay with meds and therapy but this isn't working. I want to end this pain. I don't feel like I can live like this. I have an appointment with my pdoc on Wednesday and I'm hoping I can wait that long. But I'm not sure there is anything he can do. I don't know if it's worth trying to switch meds especially since I know why everything is intense right now. I don't know if anything is worth it.