I have found over the years that "sudden" anger at someone else usually is about something else and not "this" problem and I'm shifting my anxiety and "doing" something so I can get rid of it. Road rage for example. I don't normally have it but now know when I do that something is worrying me and that I feel helpless in some way so I quit with the road rage and look inside.

The types of fights I get tempted to get into with friends, acquaintances or one-time situational problems (bank or stores) I have trained myself to play the whole thing out in my head to see where it may go? Usually the outcome is not useful or even germane and so I, again, look at other areas of my recent life to see what's up with me instead of "this" problem.