Hello. I'm J. I am 27 years old, and I have struggled with SI since I was 14. I am currently almost 1 year clean, however, my urge to break the amazing streak is beyond strong right now. This morning, around 6am, I had a massive fight with my husband that left me in a mental fog and extremely upset for the rest of the day.

I'm sorry I don't have much more to say...except that I don't feel I should even be here, let alone alive anymore. Just know that i'm trying....