I don’t know what I am doing anymore. I don’t know how to get through this. The last three nights I have come so close to just ending it. Everything has been ready. But something right at the last minute stops me. Last night was the closest yet. I can just see it repeating every day until that something that stops me disappears and I do it. And I don’t know what to do. I am so sure that I want this, but that thing that stops me tells me I need help. And now I am confused. I just want this to stop. So tired of feeling this way.