Is this Denise person aware that you are making sacrifices so that you can accommodate her in this trip? Even if you are not comfortable telling her exactly what you had to do in order to come up with the money, the fact is that she can't appreciate what you are doing if she doesn't know. Now, please know that i am NOT by any means defending her. I think at this point in the thread we have all unanimously agreed that she is acting like a real big jerk--selfish, picky, cranky, ungrateful. I know if a good friend of mind was paying for a trip for me, whether ill or not, that i would make the effort to be less picky, and more open to what they want to do (tbh i think we all would)

Being a non-confrontational person myself, i know i would feel uncomfortable telling someone i had gone without heat in my apartment, or uninviting them so its understandable if you feel uncomfortable doing either of those things. im not likely to tell anyone to stuff it either, no matter how much i know they deserve to hear it.

However, i do think it would be prudent, and good for both of you to candidly tell her that you are in a bit of a bind by bringing her and paying for her portion, and that you are because you care about her or something along those lines. let her know that it is no small thing for you. if she really cannot find it within herself to be less picky or something, then tell her gently that it might be better to bring someone else. i dont think its right for you to pay for someone to on a trip that becomes all about what she wants and nothing about what you want. There is no reason that you should feel wrong for wanting to have a say in what restaurant to eat at for example. You are not being selfish. she is.