Thanks for link Amanda, sadly 'page not found' when I'm browsing my country.. I tried to look for help in some places but seems that if I'm still living with parents, not under the bridge nothing can be done.. well I could go to court probably, but with heavy agoraphobia I can't go even to shop, besides no money for that..
I can't be assigned to other therapist because they have too many patients already, I don't know if I wrote this before, but in one place I'm waiting for therapist about 2 years already :/ I even asked in employment office f I could get any support, but they said I can't because I haven't work legally more than one year..

eh anyway, at the moment I feel sooo unreal, kinda disconnected... I'm worried that I could start doing something or talking about something crazy.. and thoughts about being possessed and shatans are again in my stupid mind, very heavy, that I'm scared maybe I am?... is this just ocd thoughts or something, I don't know.. :c