Welcome to PC persevere. Sorry you are hitting a rough stretch.

Having a therapist can help get the feelings out that we just keep wanting to keep down with binging.

There could be medical reasons why you are binging. Sugar as well as non-sugar sweeteners have been found to create abnormal hunger and could lead to binging. Same with alcohol and carbohydrates and other recreational drugs.

Not sure what triggers your binging, but it can be something that medicine could help stabilize under the direction of a psychiatrist.

If you are looking for alternatives, mindfulness, following the breath, yoga, exercise and getting plenty of sleep can help.

Be careful with the laxatives - if you empty the intestines then binging is another survival mechanism that animals use to counteract the low blood sugar that can result.

By overdoing laxatives you can also drain the body of essential minerals and nutrients.

Be careful, being your own best friend is a way out of this. Drop the blame game. You are a valuable part of the community here at PC. Hope you will take your experience and share with others that are going through similar circumstances. Even one person like you and me posting on a few other threads to try to help people can make a difference. Please don't underestimate your own self worth. You have a treasure inside that is in the process of being discovered. Just keep patiently watching and waiting and finding a middle path like eating small healthy meals or snacks every 3-4 hours so the body does not go into panic mode and you can feel more in control.