Its hard. So hard.
But my kids normal behaviours trigger me left and right.
Not big triggers, just like getting slapped.
Cuz they just kids, but I am vigilant of behaviours that might trigger someone to hurt them. I want them never to get hurt. I understand that are their own selves.
They have their own innate sexuality.
But its hurts me to see that.
Not sure why.
But it hurts me.
I feel I have such a tainted mind that I worry so much.
I disgust myself with my paranoid thots.
Its not all the time.
But it bugs the hell out of me.
How do I make it stop?
I work VERY hard at NOT putting my own angst onto my kids. To not twist their minds.
Its hard work.
Mebbe this is just the way it is for this body and I just have to live with it.
I just want my kids to not be like me in this way.
Thanks.