It really is an excruciating process and when you're IN it, It's hard to step back and work out why you feel so awful!

I'd just like to say I sent a very similar email to my T once and it was a bit of a breakthrough moment because I'd finally told someone they had upset me and why... and he didn't respond by pushing me away, he was really open to discussing it and adapting according to what I had said I needed.

Definitely share this with your T and have a hug from me, it's really hard!