Hi Persevere,

First, sometimes Professors are total jerks and don't know how to handle tears or emotions and that's their problem. I'm a professor myself and I know that professors are usually really good at their subject, but may not be very good at dealing with people. So I'm so glad that you knew that your were mad. You had reason to be.

Second, good job at working so hard at your studies. But if you don't become an expert at being kind with yourself and taking care of yourself, there'll come a time when you won't have enough energy or health left for anything including your studies.

Lastly, great news. College is great time to learn about how to handle an eating disorder. And you're already doing several things right:1) You found Psych Central, 2) You reached out for help, 3) You correctly identified that you were angry*. I agree with everything CANDC said. I strongly suggest that you listen to her.

I didn't get professional help until after I left school. If I had known that it was possible to confidential help through the health center I would have saved myself a lot of suffering. See if you can get an appointment with the counseling folks at your school's health center. It's free, your tuition is paying their salary.

Finally, there are so many special, cool, amazing things that you're going to discover about yourself. Your bingeing does not make you any less cool or special. Of course you can't control your bingeing, no one with this disorder can will themselves to not binge. What we can do is learn what we can control in our lives to keep bingeing from being a problem for us. That takes work and a lot of learning. But you're on your way.

I'm glad you posted,
Swim

*There was a study done where one group was taught about emotions and another was taught about nutrition and exercise and the group that was taught about emotions ended up losing more weight than those that were taught about nutrition. I read about it somewhere on this site.