In the orient, making love was considered a sacred act that should not be rushed into. A woman is different than a man. A man is ready physically in 5 minutes.
A woman should be ready psychologically as well as physically. If it does not feel like the time than just don't. If your boyfriend says sex or nothing, then maybe there is a more sensitive man you can find.
If you get to a place and maybe want to be closer physically with your boyfriend, then everything should feel natural and without anxiety.
The ancient chinese listened to quiet music and spent time in a garden becoming at peace in preparation for intimacy. This could be a beautiful room in your home sharing herb tea (alcohol actually is not a good idea because it makes you lose control)
If all this sounds good to you but unacceptable to your boyfriend, perhaps that is another piece of consideration in figuring out how compatible you two are.
I am going to end this post here, but if you want to hear more about the Chinese traditions you could reply to this post or private message me if you feel more comfortable not in a public forum.