Cerebral thanks for visiting PC.
I have known a woman that was married and also tried to find women to be friends with and possibly more. If you establish a relationship that begins with sex then the sex thoughts keep coming back. Sex can be an addiction, those chemicals flowing through the brain are a cocktail of natural drugs that keep us interested in sex.
If you want a relationship without sex (the thoughts may be there but you don't have to act on them) then the best thing to do is to be a friend to others. See their needs and help solace them in troubled time, share their joy in good times. But I would NOT approach women at work unless you are willing to jeopardize your job.
I don't know what the answer is. I think the sadism and masochism scares off many people from replying. If it was just a married woman having affairs with women, then maybe you would get a larger response.
For me S&M is not a sensual experience, but a painful expression and hurtful thing to do to the body. To me it is like people doing self injury. I can't see it being a relationship building experience.
Would you be willing to consider dropping that S&M and just find people that care about you and can relate to you as a person? That to me would be the basis of having relationships that feel satisfying and might last.
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