" But I would NOT approach women at work unless you are willing to jeopardize your job."

I never have, and I never will.

"For me S&M is not a sensual experience, but a painful expression and hurtful thing to do to the body. To me it is like people doing self injury. I can't see it being a relationship building experience."

There are varying degrees of S & M, and what I enjoy is nothing extreme(no injuries or severe pain), it's mostly mental and is about the feeling of having or relinquishing control - It's about trust in a way.

"Would you be willing to consider dropping that S&M and just find people that care about you and can relate to you as a person? That to me would be the basis of having relationships that feel satisfying and might last.[/QUOTE]"

If the friendship has sex in it, then I want S & M.

I already said that I am fine with having a friend that I would not have sex with, I am just looking for tips on how to deal with the thoughts, and being able to talk with a friend about the problem I have, how much I should say, what not to say, etc.

Also, setting boundaries for non sex friends: I for instance would not be okay with non sexual friends teasing me in a sexual manner jokingly if they knew about my issue.