So for me its not medication that will help me personally to address issues and make changes i want in my life. I understand factors/triggers that lead me to fall into severe depressions. So by being aware of them i can try to address them thats where therapy can be good but ive not found good therapist for me. Depression is for me result of suppressed bottled up emotions from past stressful traumatic experiences and unhelpful self limiting beliefs, and self sacrificing destructive habits i learned, adopted. Depression has underlying messages for me to free self and transform my life but trouble is when im in severe depression i feel physically ill and unable to do a lot of things and get such intense distressing dark thoughts and feelings, am vulnerable to suicide. When in mania, i enjoy having more energy, feel great, but i can be quite irritable agitated too, more active and engage more with others, and i am more creative, with ideas, and set goals for self etc. But i can end up doing too much or being overambitious and if i encounter significant stresses, disappointments, i easily fall back into depression and when im in severe depression accompanied with severe anxiety i feel tense overwhelmed exhausted lifeless and its hard getting back up again. I am more often in depression and anxiety than mania. I get mixed episodes a lot.