Hi, I keep meaning to reply to you, well, mean to do a lot of things but don't. Here where I am in the U.S. meals on wheels work with a suggested donation and if people can't pay they don't, or they pay what they can. I always put client's on meals on wheels when they are disabled and can't afford or prepare nutritional meals. I wonder if you have the same rule there? Check it out and see if it's a suggested donation policy. That way you are getting more nutrtion without spending money. I also wanted to say I am sorry you are in so much pain and to ask you if you have ever had a pain patch? They are a narcotic time released patch that helps with someof the ups and downs with regular oral meds wearing off. Phentenyl is one I know of? Also, I know what severe pain is like and am sure if I had to live with it everyday I too would get depressed. I have had back injuries where my muscles go into spasm for days and it's the worst pain I have ever known. If I don't head it off with anti-inflamitory meds and anti-spasmodics and percoset then it's off to the hospital for morphine I.V. I had a client slip out of a chair yesterday and I tried to help her by myself and strained my back big time. I am finally in bed and hope it will relax the muscles a little. All of this just to say I can relate a little bit to what you mean about pain. I also work with oodles of people with chronic pain and like to use the doctors and Palliative care nurses who specialize in pain management. I hope you are well and by the way having a computer is not a luxury and if yours ever crashes Let me know. I have connections and know that I could help you get another useful computer though probably older. Do you have dsl or dial up? Nosy huh? Be well, Wisewoman