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some of my numbness was gone and that was what was going to happen. Also, I was feeling some pressure on the marriage front. Anyway, all of a sudden I got the idea that I was going to call and cancel my session.

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Lemon (yes I remember you!), I think that is part of what is happening with me. I am just so hurt and fragile but angry and elated too, all in a mix, bam bam bam these feelings rapidly one after the other all day long. Numbness is gone. I feel I can't contain if I go to therapy. I am certainly not containing outside of therapy. We are supposed to talk about nuts and bolts stuff at our session. I just don't know if I can. And it would be horrible to just sit there in a corner and cry while T and my husband discuss the nuts and bolts.

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Remember just because it is a couples therapy session doesn't mean you can't bring up individual concerns as well.

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Lemon, I didn't know that was permitted. That's good to hear. I would hate to ask T in our couples session if I could have an individual session too and have him say no in front of my husband. Rejection is bad enough, but in the triad setting, I would be devastated. Thanks so much for your encouragement. Maybe I will try what SecretGarden suggested and try to get a few minutes alone with T at the beginning of our session.

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It's so confusing when we find ourselves in another person, but are fighting to pull ourselves out of that identity. Does that make any sense?

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Yes, I understand completely, sister. It's very frightening.