I know no one can diagnose, but maybe someone has experience with this?

My son (18 in 2 weeks) was sent down here to visit, with open ended stay. His father called me out of the blue this summer and asked if he could come down. I said, without hesitation "Of course!" No questions asked. They flew him down that same day. I was delighted. While we shared custody, they hadn't let him visit in a long time and I was told it would be good for him to reconnect.

They wanted him in school here. Done. He started exhibiting, what I thought was homesickness, then depression & self injury when they wouldn't take him back. At that point his parents (dad/stepmom) warned me he lied all the time & played victim, and raged. Took him to PDoc, diagnosed depression. Put on AD. They said they would fly him home around or before Thanksgiving. He really wanted to get home to finish his senior year with his class, he said. When I asked his dad about dates & expressed concern that he still needed help up there they told him he couldn't come back. They said he must have a disorder with lying and wanted him committed, and warned me he might get into a "rage". Son then expressed suicidal desires and he agreed to go to psych ward. Admitted the AD didn't help & he lied about it working because he wanted to be allowed to go back there. He did not want his parents to speak to any of the professionals. Dx Bipolar II and switched meds. 72 hour hold, set up therapy. At first therapy visit, bipolar Diagnosis was reconfirmed,, based on what he said & family history. He refused to go to IOP, as suggested , but said he'd go to individual therapy. All the professionals, as well as myself, thought he was a good kid and just needed to get treatment & back to HS and everything familiar to him.

When I found out he started skipping many classes, he said it was due to anxiety. Said he hid in bathroom. (Found out after he left he was watching movies on the iPad in the bathroom). Got him on mood stabilizer, thinking it was all BP. Made arrangements with school social worker that he needed to sign paper by teachers attending all classes and go to clinic if anxious.

Meanwhile I'm thinking he's going to kill himself if he doesn't get to go back. professionals agreed it would be better to let him go at 18. I was distraught, because I couldn't seem to help or make him happy. I wanted him to stay but seeing him so broken up about not going home, it would make him happy. Begged them his parents to take him. Found out he never followed through with school sociol worker, didn't attend any classes, even though I was picking him up from school some days during bad weather. He was lying and I had been taking pity on him this entire time. He said he didn't give a (blank) about school here.

Not even a week ago I asked his dad more about his behavior up there, as I was starting to see some of it. Mentioned he had shoplifted candy when he was kid. (5). His father didn't remark on that. 2 days later I suspected he was shoplifting still. He admitted to learning to pick locks because his parents had locked him out when they weren't home.

His paternal grandmother agreed to fly him up there for holidays. Very sympathetic to him and hates both his stepmother and I. The day before he was scheduled to leave, he raged at me for not letting him use the car. Went for walk instead to Walmart to get cord for phone, during which time he was texting me expressing remorse for breaking my iPad screen and causing financial strain. He knew we were broke. Son came home. Husband called said the card had been used that during that time at McDonalds ($7) & Walmart for $250. Overdrawing the account.

My debit card was not in my wallet. Confronted my son, who was so offended I would even ask. He started to get really angry. Called bank to report card stolen. My PIN was used. Only people who knew it were my two sons & I. Confronted him again. Said he used it for McDonalds and threw the card away so I wouldn't get overdraft fees. Then the story changed and he admitted to buying an iPad. He threw my card & the iPad box in trash at Walmart & got rid of the receipt. Gave me the iPad, retrieved box & my debit card he had folded in half from trash.

He flew out next day.. My husband notified his parents, then I talked to his dad - and it all came out. They did lock him out during the summer when they weren't home because he stole from them, and others. Thousands of dollars worth of stuff. Raged to the point his stepmom being fearful. Hit his stepsister. other relatives won't take him in.

I'm not blaming his parents. I think they were at the end of their rope. He blames them for ruining his life. He had begged me not to tell them about the stealing as they would ruin things more for him. I told him,"No, you did that". He said it would be "very very bad" if he couldn't go back. Is this level of emotional manipulation/behavior common with BP?

Sorry so long.