I want to say thank you all sooooo much for these replies. I had a terribly sad day yesterday and a horribly sad night a few nights ago. Well, mixed. Physically kind of up but mentally obsessing about that awful day almost 2 years ago. These comments have made me feel so much better. Only one person said to me, "Oh, I have never and will never do that." Even if I might choose the other route next time, letting pets die at home, after it's done, isn't it awful someone would harshly express that opinion?!

I'm also struggling a bit with enjoying my 2 cats in the present. I didn't get them until after my last cat died. I sometimes look at them and try to imagine what it might be like when they day. It's just so sad. I'm mixed with a little rapid cycling. It's kind of awful. I'm going to take half a zyprexa.

Thanks again, everyone, honestly it means a lot to me.