I avoid any intimacy & have done all my life. I don't even like anyone, including close friends to touch or hug me.I prefer life on my own although I would like to have a relationship. I have been in many short term relationships & sex has always been an issue to me. I tend to drink, & dissociate to enable me to 'cope'. I have only been in therapy a year, but so wish I had done it 20 years ago. I have only just disclosed to my therapist about my CSA & my t is the only person I have ever told. It has got harder for me as the years pass. I feel like a freak. I hope you can find someone to support you with this issue as my feeling is that unless we get that help, it will stay with us forever. Take care. XXX