This. It is really wise to think about the consequences of your actions.

So how to get out all this anger in a productive way? How to talk to the people in your life about what is realistic for you, that they have to adjust their expectations?

You seem quite self-aware, CANDC gave some good suggestions for calming and relaxing. Have you ever tried journalling your feelings? Do you want to talk more about what's making you angry here? It might help to get things sorted into perspective and give you a plan for talking about the things you need to talk about.

It also occurs to me that something physical, like exercise, could diffuse some pent up anger. Do you ever workout? Thrash about to some awesome tunes? Go for a walk?

Just some thoughts.