I agree with Bluegrey that sometimes you have to try out a different therapist if the one that you go to is not helping you out. Try listening to soothing music, provide yourself with inspiration, and perhaps treat yourself as a beautiful woman that you are.

Additionally, I also experience suicidal thoughts from time to time. It's hard to move through them when you have them, they seem so overwhelming and like you can't get out of feeling that way. I wish I could say that the road to recovery is like, but I can't really assure you of very much. I know change takes time. I also live with depression, anxiety, and have some condition similar to bipolar.

As far as talking with your relatives, if they don't want to talk with you about what you have to say. I would say don't talk to them. Talk to people on PC. Maybe you can find more compassion and understanding here versus from the people who trigger the pain. I know what living with an abusive family member feels like. It's difficult because you love them, but they hurt your feelings and don't empathize with what you've gone through. Don't be vulnerable around them. Do what you have to do to stay safe a distance away from them.

Trauma is difficult to talk about, and can be traumatic to remember. I would say, try writing down what happened. You don't have to show your writing to anyone. Take a look at this article about writing about past events: Expressive Art Therapy Activity # 45 - Healing Traumatic Memories with Embodied Writing - The Art of Emotional Healing

Healing Trauma steps: Ten Steps to Healing From Trauma

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