Thank you all so much. Just talking about it, and getting it off my chest has been very helpful. I have to accept the way I treated him. I can not and refuse to live in denial. The pain I feel, is half the pain and fear he must have experienced. The only thing I can do is forgive myself. I was wrong, I made horrible decision. The solemn depth of my regret and the sincerity of my actions to repent for them are the only ways I can right this wrong. The past is the past, all I can change is the present. I did that. For five years I gave him a great home full of love, companionship, and attention. He forgave me. In doing so, I was taught lessons of compassion, grace, and dignity that no human being or life lesson has ever taught me. I'm forever grateful for these gifts. The gift of forgiveness, the gift of my time with him, the gift of change, and in a greater sense, the gift of such pure, innocent and genuine love. I will miss him forever, and every time I see an animal in need, any chance I have to make a difference, I will take action. Now that he is gone, that is the only way I can continue to seek forgiveness is by helping other animals. I will do that in his memory. I pray I'll see him one day again and want to just say to him one last time: I love you buddy. I'm sorry for the way I treated you when we first met. I hope I was able to prove to you how sorry I was and how much I love you. Thank you for loving me. Rest peacefully.

Thank you everyone.