I have had the urges a couple of times over the years. One time I wanted to just dig myself until I bled. I was digging but never actually caused blood. I struggled in my head as I knew I should tell her but just couldn't. When she asked what was going on in my head I really wanted to say that I was having these horrible urges but instead I told her I just wanted the pain to go away...I left the session angry that I didn't say anything..