Thanks all,

I am still waiting, I cannot call to activate my specialist referral till tomorrow (yay military healthcare!). I am hoping that they can see me quickly but with the holidays coming up I am not holding my breath. I hate having to take narcotics (prescribed) for pain. They make me feel sick and high and non functional. Unfortunately we have exhausted all other pain management options at this point. So I can be sick or I can be in agony. Fun choices.

And I am sorry I am complaining, I am grateful that I even have insurance I am just frustrated and my experience currently is mirroring the lead up to last years emergency surgery that nearly killed me so all my triggers are being hit. I know it is not objective reality, these are different doctors in a different place but I am so scared that they are going to miss something again and that this time it will kill me. And I am crying while typing this because my close call last year really was that close and it could have been avoided if someone had preformed a simple pregnancy test or if the MRI tech had bothered to read my scan correctly.

I see my therapist today so I will be discussing this with her, it just sucks because I was supposed to be moving forward, we were talking about grieving the the loss of that pregnancy finally and now I am back to survival mode.